Re: Word Made Flesh
Hi,I think there is an interesting poem skulking quietly behind the noise of this.I realise that you want to create a sense of noise and energy but I feel you've gone over the top. The poem shouts at...
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Nigel,I enjoyed this far more the second read. You are using very strong images with good lines. My first read was staggered while I adjusted to the punctuation style. Dropped once or twice here and...
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Good intro. The first line grabs me by the lapels, the second line shakes me. OK, OK, I'm awake! Jeez. :-) "shards and splinters" is redundant, isn't it? (I remember reading a post somewhere, I forget...
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Nigel, For me, this poem required a re-reading to evaluate it functionally. Reading between it's lines, I sense it's writer has a gift and command of poetic prescience and presentation. I also sense...
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Nigel, old boy, I quite like it.I've notice that people said that it's too loud and that you went overboard on the aural imagery. Well, I can only assume that that was, in fact, part of your...
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Oops, quite right about L6-8. I must have been thrown by the capitalized Ya. Thanks for catching that, T.I don't think this is "too loud" or "overboard". It's got energy, which is what I like about...
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Nigel,The tone of the poem is interesting. Except I pronounce Buddha so very differently (the way it should be pronounced in Sanskrit), that I have trouble rhyming it with shudders.Paddy
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Thank you, everyone, for replying.I think this is a poem that splits the audience - some like its anger and strong adjectives and some don't.Essentially, this is a poem on the need for idols in...
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Nigel,I'm none too hot on the art form of the sonnet, but I had no real problems with the read. As someone with strong opinions on religion, I could easily follow your meaning. For me, it works.the...
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Nigel, I thought this was most impressive. I've no problems with the vocabulary - I think you have to flirt with OTT to convey the sheer power of language, and how aggressive it can be. Combining that...
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